daily happenings in the world of me

So I'm feeling really hurt right now. Over the past week I have confronted two boys who were once my friends, and the result is that I'm really feeling horrible right now. I'm hoping that one of them will still be my friend, but he's not really responding well to my apology. Which is just absolutely insane, because he kept me up well past 2:00am only two days ago just talking to me. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Right now I just want to be happy.

It's really odd that I find myself sitting here at my desk in my very own room at Manchester College. Looking at this from a distance really shocks me. Two years ago I was certain I would be attending the University of Evansville and would be living with someone who would become one of my lifelong friends. Now I look at my situation, and although I am shocked, I recognize that I am truly blessed. For all the times I hate staying on campus because there is nothing to do in North Manchester, I know that I stayed closer to home for a reason. I am able to come home for a day whenever I choose, and that luxury was certainly not an option in Evansville. Manchester College has already blessed me with so many amazing experiences in less than a year and a half. There have been so many ups and downs in the past year, and somehow it's always the downs that take all my energy. It's important to take time to remember the ups and really grow to cherish them in my heart always. It's nights like these when the possitives overtake the negatives and I find myself eternally grateful for the life that God has blessed me with.

Not that anyone reads it anymore, but I will update none-the-less. I finished my first year of college on a great note! Not only were my grades high, but the last thing I did before coming home for the summer was choir tour, and it rocked so hard! Basically, it was the best way to finish my first year, and I cannot wait for NYC and Carnegie Hall next year!
My friends are all amazing, and I'm so glad that I'm getting to catch up with them this summer. I'm glad that they still care about me after I've been gone for a year. I do miss my MC friends very much.
I'm going to be an RA next year! I am so incredibly excited about it, and I am friends with some of my residents already. I'll be in the same building that I was in last year, but I'll just be up a floor. It'll be good to take two flights of stairs everyday. So I'll have my own room and my own bathroom, and I'll have steady work hours which means a steady paycheck and that's always a good thing. I'm definitely looking forward to next fall!

Okay, so it's finals week, and I just can't believe that I'm almost done with my first semester in college.

I know that it's been a while since I posted here last, but there's been so much going on that I've found it much easier to neglect this. So yeah, I'm gonna take a nap and update this later.

College life is so incredible! I love it here at Manchester. There are so many things that have been happening in my life, and it's a little crazy how fast things can change. Classes haven't been too bad, but I'm definitely gonna need to stay on top of my homework. Everything has been going great, and I know that Manchester is the right place for me right now.

Okay, so I'm here at Manchester, and I totally love it! There are so many exciting things going on, and the people really are the best part about this place. It makes me feel so much better about myself because there really aren't cliques. There are groups of friends, but they overlap and it's just awesome. I love it here!

I started interning last Thursday. I feel like I've accomplished so much in just a week, but I know that there is still so much more for me to do. I leave on the Stratford Theater trip on Friday. I am SO EXCITED about this trip. I didn't go the other three years because it always fell on my mom's birthday, but this year it finally worked out for me. AND get this, my parents are paying for the whole thing! Merry Christmas to me! I'm glad that they're taking care of the cost for this, because my car is going to cost me an arm and a leg to fix. I'm hoping that my $100 down payment to my father will cover the cost of the leg, so that all I have to work off will be the arm. I'm starting to realize that I will have absolutely no money starting next fall. Man that sucks.

Okay, so it's been a good long while since I've updated here, but I have a good reason. I've been using xanga. http://www.xanga.com/littlepk is where you will find me nowadays. I may post a few things here every once and a while, but I wouldn't count on it if I were you. My xanga will be kept up and continually updated as I move onto college. Hope to see the rest of you there.
PS: to comment on xanga you have to join and get a screenname, but it's free and you don't actually have to keep a site.

As a type this now, I am sitting in the Sanctuary in our church. I'm sitting on a couch in the front of the stage. And I'm typing this. I'm in the little drama thing with my youth pastor and we're sisters. In the skit I'm visiting her for Christmas and of course I bring my own laptop so that I can check in with all my friends and update my online journal. I actually "write" an entry in the skit.

I’m spending Christmas at my sister’s this year. I wish she would learn to relax once and a while. She’s all stressed out about the traditions and details of Christmas. I love spending time with her, but when she’s worried about everything being perfect, she’s no fun to be around. I’m so glad Jane invited us to go to church with her. I am so blessed to have friends that love me as I am. I know that God loves me the same, but I long to feel that love tonight. There are so many times where I feel like there’s no place for me.

Right now Chris Razor is singing. Man, that guy can sing! It's pretty cool just to sit here and witness everything in the service without having to be fully aware of everything that's happening. It is really cold in here, though. The lights are on me, but they're really dim, so they aren't really giving off a lot of heat. It's better than last service, but still really cold. Now my dad's talking. heh, this is so cool.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!

So the men's soccer team lost their first game this weekend in overtime. The wind was horendous. One of the glass doors at the Borders downtown shattered because of the wind. I've never seen THAT before! The guys had a good game, but it just wasn't enough. They had a great season. Yay for Ryan on his mental attitude award! It was great to hear that he had won it!

Emily isn't moving! YAY!! I read it on her journal, and that just made me really really happy. It would have been not cool if she had to move. Then I wouldn't have anyone to have crazy hair with me, push down a hill, or be sock twins with, and frankly, that would really suck. I'm glad she's staying. School isn't fun. There is way too much noise in this library. The library nazi isn't fulfilling her duties. That is unacceptable. I think my head is going to explode.

Okay, so senior year is going very well so far. I've been accepted at all of the colleges that I have applied to so far, but I'm still waiting on a fwe things to finalize my Evansville application. That will definitely be sent in before November 1st, but I'm hoping it's sooner rather than later. I have yet to get my free tee shirt from Manchester, and people have told me that I will be receiving an "admitted" tee from Purdue, but I haven't seen that one yet either. I'm trying not to be stressed out about anything related to school, but I'm also remembering that grades do affect the scholarships I will or won't be receiving. First quarter ends tomorrow, so we'll see how much this outlook is helping or hurting my grades.

I went to Drake's lake with a whole bunch of kids from church, and for the most part, it was a lot of fun. There were several times where I was frustrated with some of the guys in middle high, but for the most part, it was a very relaxing day. My favorite part was laying out in the sun in the grass on a towel. It was so relaxing, and I actually felt myself not stressing out. It was nice to be away from home and school for the day. I went to Shannon's after I got back from the lake and just hung out with her and Dave and Ashley, Tyler, Nick, and Drake. They all had homework, so I helped Drake as much as I could. He has "geometry" or whatever, and it's a total pain. I actually like math right now. We had our first AP Statistics test on Friday, and I think I did pretty well, so that was exciting. I'm starting to feel less stressed about college. I'm finished with 3 of the 4 applications I'm filling out, and I should know from Manchester in a couple months or so about my acceptance and scholarships and stuff like that. I guess it's more exciting now than stressful. I'm really glad I started filling out those applications the last two weeks. I would've been really stressed if I had waited until after the musical got started. Planning ahead has finally paid off. Hooray.

I just got back from church camp, and it was AWESOME!!! I met some really cool people and had an awesome time worshiping with kids my age! It was hard to leave, but It's good to be home again!

I would really really like to fast forward to Institute!!! We went shopping today, and all I can look forward to is camp!!! We're missing the big Three Rivers' Festival, but I don't think I've ever been, so it's totally okay with me! I also can't wait for choir camp!!! I really am excited! I hope Jon comes again this year, because we are seriously lacking in the guys department. hehe! I LOVE EPWORTH!!!

I just wish life weren't so stinking complicated!

Sunday, June 20-
We made it to Arkansas safely and the other group is from Illinois. At first there was no mingling between the two groups, but after getting used to being together the two groups started to get along much better. I think we'll get along really well.

Monday, June 21-
Today was the first day for Kids Club, and they were CRAZY!!! There were SO many of them, and they were out of control! There were some good things though. I've really enjoyed getting to know Ashley Loomis. She's super-cool!

Tuesday, June 22-
Kids Club went MUCH better today! The van ride to the nursing home today was AWESOME! It was great on the way back, too. Getting to know the other group has made me more confident in the leadership role I am trying to pursue. Today was good.

Wednesday, June 23-
"Let the godly sing with joy to the LORD for it is fitting to praise Him." Psalms 33:1
Lots of great fun tonight! Lots of great fun all day! Tomorrow will be great too, I'm sure. I hope things go smoothly. Yay God for a great day!

Thursday, June 24-
Wow! God is SO good!


These were entries in my journal that I wrote before going to bed each night. As you can tell, I had an awesome trip! So that was basically my week minus tons and tons of hilarous jokes and touching moments. I'll make sure to put up pictures when I get them back. I'm so on fire right now!!!

The sad thing is that right now, I don't know where my place is. My friends are all up to things tonight. They all have their places, and right now, I can't seem to find mine. I know that most people would say that my place is at church, but I want more than that. I want to have my place all the time.